Remember loud, crowded bars? Watering holes so packed that getting a drink seemed like an impossible task, let alone making a meaningful connection with someone whose name you were barely able to catch over the cranked up music. Historically, family friends, schoolmates, neighbors, colleagues and fellow churchgoers made up many of the people Americans started relationships with, but how do people do it nowadays, particularly with the COVID pandemic impacting so many aspects of daily life, not the least of which is the tried-and-true method of meeting someone at a bar?

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Learn the honest, non-sleazy way to attract high quality partners. With the long weekend coming and the 4th of July celebrations, many of us will be going out for drinks with friends. Since most people will be in high spirits, take this as an excellent opportunity to challenge yourself and meet new, quality women. After years of going out, you begin to notice the subtle mistakes that guys make at the bar. Most of the time all they need is a few simple adjustments that would change their interactions dramatically.

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To learn what you can do to start having more success meeting women in bars, check out the tips below. The idea that bars are among the best places to meet women is only true when you pick the right bar.


You have to get through everyone in the crowd and go talk to her. Depending on your lifestyle and your friends, you might be meeting up for dinner or pre-drinks before that. This time is about building some connections, getting some phone s, having a little bit of fun, and just letting lose a little. You can start texting them to gauge their level of interest and go for the ones that are highest likely to go back with you.

This is done by finding excuses for her to go ahead without her friends and for her to come back to yours.

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These gives you a higher probability of succeeding. Women are fairly intuitive and they can figure out your intentions. Bring fun and add something to the group. In general, guys know immediately whether we want to have sex with a girl in a couple of seconds. You can then touch her lightly on the elbows or waist, to gauge how receptive she is to your advances. Flirting with her physically is accomplished using non verbal communications. Having a rough picture of how a night should go and flow can help you wrestle back control, and start implementing what you need to do at different point of the night.

One other common mistake I see is guys grabbing her and touching her on the get go when approaching.

The ins and outs of meeting girls at bars

When you combine the adrenaline of approaching an attractive girl. If you feel good, the people around you will feel good. I call this the positive dominance mind set. You have to lead verbally, emotionally, physically and logistically. One way is to social communities and forums and meet other guys who are serious about going out and meeting girls. You got to embrace the chaos. The ideal would be just to go in and start talking to the small groups of people and warm up socially. This includes your wingmen, your buddies, your friends and the new people you meet in a club.

You need to prepare for your nights, instead of spearheading in head on.

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I had to limit my interactions to one cold read for the purpose to break the ice, and then move on to teases, role playing and flirting with her physically right off the bat. In addition to that, thinking and obsessing too much about pick up technique or theory can mess your head up. There was a point where I was cold reading too much in the club. However, in a club, you got to stick to short sentences, good body language, and physicality.

The meet club becomes your friend. What makes you thing some random stranger outside the club is going to go back with you? The bar of the guys will never approach a girl on the dance floor, or anywhere else in the club. Talk to the fat friend. You become the guy that everyone wants to know. Girls, especially Asian how, are not going to give you an inch of space. One tip I found out is to never ask, but to attempt to girl her physically.

Getting the initial approach down is just a small portion of the picture. For months straight, I was either writing for the blog or catching up with academic duties. Secondly, what does it say about your value as a man if you have to resort to such tactics in order to get her attracted to you. This is the part where you take full responsibility and you lead.

How to pick up girls in clubs and bars – the ultimate guide

Here are my two favourite lines:. Remember, two steps forward and one step back. It can really hurt your social muscles. Connections, fun, friends and alcohol.

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You have a goal. Imagine how she feels when her friend always gets all the attention when they go out to the club and she gets completely ignored. Not to mention that leadership is an attractive trait to girls. Girls, especially the hot ones are going to be hitting the clubs as an entourage.

Ways to meet women outside of bars & clubs

However, he approaches girls and claws them in with his muscular frame and attempts to kiss them within the first minute of the interaction. It is NOT a logical activity. There is a structure you can when picking up girls in clubs. It makes social interactions and starting conversations a lot much easier. If you want to meet girls in the the club, a lot of it is down to window opportunity and balls.

I know someone who can barely string a proper English sentence together. The push pull dynamic should be complimented with shoulder hugs or waist hugs. The best strategy is to often kill them with kindness. Your chances are best IN the club.

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Touching a girl in the club also has got a lot to do with just grabbing it by the balls and being physical with a girl. The club is a chaotic place with people moving around, the influence of alcohol, drunk friends and pretty girls to talk to. Some times, things may not go your way. Now, once you got all of that preparation down, you can plan your strategies according to the flow of the night. Women require more time and information to make a decision on that.

Your intentions are going to matter more than the words said. You can leave all your interactions, and re-approach her later. How I deal with a logical hepace is to get into a social hepace by chatting with my friends, strangers, Hi 5-ing people in the club, having fun in general.

One other thing I learned about approaching girls in night clubs is that people wait too long to be social and to be in a social interaction.

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Just grab her by the hand, and get her to follow. This helps in social momentum as well. They also feel safer and secure with their friends, so let them be! People are there to have fun and not to have meaningful or deep conversations. Flip that around and put yourself in the shoes of others. I s there a structure in picking up girls in clubs? The clubs are noisy, with loud music. Furthermore, the hotter girls are never going to lead for you. The first rule of social skillsets is this: make it fun!

This helps you dictate the flow of girl interactions. You not meet make new friends, but now, you have some social proof that you can leverage on to make more friends, and look popular and awesome in her eyes. Talk to her guy friends and acknowledge them.

I had to fine tune my approaches. You can also lead her to the dance floor to get physically intimate with her. You can say whatever you want to, but your intentions are always louder than what you say verbally. Your can be maximized this way. I made it a point to reach out to others to be more social. The better way to do it is to how the influence of bar and her friends. Pulling the trigger and polarizing the interaction is more one of the key aspects of picking up girls in the clubs.

Firstly, keep your sentences short and sweet.

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Socializing is a creative activity. I know, some times the friends of girls can be a major cock block. Think about it, why would others want to meet you unless you bring something to the table? One part of being masculine is being grounded. When I started out, I invested in a dating coach for men and networked with other like minded individuals to go out with almost every other weekend.

This is the point where you hit it hard and find interactions to commit to. Teasing her also shows sexual intent and interest. Smiling helps a lot when approaching. Yes, and no. If you notice something cool about someone, be it a guy or not, then say it. Finding the balance is the sweet spot. The ultimate rule of them all: bring fun to others.

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