I must reassure the squeamish that tales of tainted cuisine at these clubs are club fake newsand that I myself have been lucky leg to enjoy a buffet gentlemans a topless club that would put Golden Corral to shame. The Gold Club sets the standard for every other place on this list. Gold Club chefs serve up a range of standard Boston Market -type options, with fried chicken just like mom used to make for those Oedipal patrons among us.

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Codi

How old am I: I'm 18 years old

I shave my vagina. My legs, arms and armpits. I cover myself neck down in an expensive, gritty lotion and buff my skin pink. Dry off. Next, fake tan, fake fingernails.

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This was my first visit to Legs in about two years. Not sure how expensive drinks were then as I didn't buy any myself - I was there for my birthday and my friends bought the drinks.

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‘legs and eggs’ and other strip club buffet highlights

By all means. And once you get home, you can take all that passion you both worked up and transfer it right into the bedroom! Featured Image Credit: getty, Kristina Kokhanova.

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Contribute to the local economy and put that bartender to work. This one goes along with the tipping thing we mentioned earlier. Yes, have a drink. Some of them should be obvious, Keep those hands to yourself, pal and some of them only come from experience.

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Or three. DO tip Hate to shatter the illusion for you, friend, but these women are at work. Maybe not a first date, but if you and your partner have been together long enough to establish some real trust, then why not? Have two, even.

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Hate to shatter the illusion for you, friend, but these women are at work. No video. Tips for First Timers.

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This is their job. But not eleven or twelve. DO have a drink This one goes along with the tipping thing we mentioned earlier.

The do’s & don’ts of a strip club

DO bring a date Maybe not a first date, but if you and your partner have been together long enough to establish some real trust, then why not? So study up, take notes, and put your newfound knowledge to good use right here at Vivid Live. No pictures.

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Having said that, there are some rules, both spoken and unspoken, that are the same no matter what club you check out.

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